.:[September 22nd - 06:27 CET/GMT+0200]:.

Rhetorical Questions

This page contains a long list of funny questions, they are all rhetorical, and there is no definitive answers to them. Many of them are taken from the segment "Tickle's Teaser" from the TV show: "Brainiac". Some are of my own creation and a few are random ones I've heard over the years.

  • A laser spins around in space. When looking from far away what would the light resemble more: A lighthouse or a spinning garden hose?
  • Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
  • Aren't all rooms at room temperature?
  • Can fat people go skinny dipping?
  • Can someone give up Lent for Lent?
  • Can you breathe out of your nose and your mouth at the same time?
  • Can you breathe out with your mouth and breathe in with your nose at the same time?
  • Can you cry underwater?
  • Can you ever be thinking about nothing?
  • Can you you lick your own elbow?
  • Do bald men wash their heads with soap or shampoo?
  • Do cows have calf muscles?
  • Do fish ever get thirsty?
  • Do octopusses have arms or legs?
  • Do people who can't speak make a sound when they burp?
  • Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?
  • Do stairs go up or down?
  • Don't eat yellow snow.
  • How can someone 'draw a blank'?
  • How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?
  • How come you press the buttons on the remote control harder… When you know the batteries are running out?
  • How do the 'Keep Off The Grass' signs get there?
  • How do you know when you're behind a tree?
  • How do you know when you run out of invisible ink?
  • How old do you have to be to die old?
  • How young can you be and still die of old age?
  • If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
  • If a cat always lands on it's feet and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
  • If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?
  • If a word was misspelt in the dictionary, how would you know?
  • If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green and a lemon called a yellow?
  • If heat rises then shouldn't Hell be cold?
  • If hot air rises, why is it cold at the top of the mountains?
  • If identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would their children be identical?
  • If it's zero degrees today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, what temperature will it be?
  • If mineral water has trickled through mountains for thousands of years, then why does it have an expiration date?
  • If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?
  • If scissors are plural since it consists of two parts, shouldn't a pencil with eraser also be plural?
  • If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone can't hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?
  • If someone told you that they were a pathological liar, would you believe them?
  • If something goes without saying, why do people still say it?
  • If swimming is such good exercise, how come whales are so fat?
  • If teflon is meant to be non-stick, how do they get it to stick to the pan?
  • If the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, how fast does darkness go?
  • If there was an Earthquake on Mars, would it be called a "Marsquake"?
  • If we put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what colour would it turn?
  • If you could dig a tunnel straight through the Earth, would you come out feet first?
  • If you get lost whilst driving, how come you turn the radio down?
  • If you get your heart pumping with caffeine, is that considered good aerobic exercise?
  • If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
  • If you lit a flame inside a spacecraft, would the flame burn upwards?
  • If you only have one eye, do you blink or wink?
  • If you spend a day doing nothing, how do you know when you've finished?
  • If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
  • If you swallow a burp, does it turn into a fart?
  • If you take a shower, where do you put it?
  • If you took a compass into space, which way would it point?
  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which one have you done?
  • If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st – January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?
  • If you were in a car traveling at the speed of sound and you farted would you smell it before you hear it?
  • If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?
  • If your body is normally 37 degrees celsius, how come you feel uncomfortable when it's that temperature outside?
  • If you're in a car travelling at about the speed of light, what happens when you switch on the headlights?
  • If a turtle has no shell, is it then naked or homeless?
  • In a falling lift, could you save you yourself by jumping at the very last second?
  • Is a coffee mug filled with tea still a coffee mug?
  • It's a fact, if you're ever losing an argument, just start quoting statistics and people will believe you… 94% of the time.
  • The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
  • What colour is a mirror?
  • What do you call a male ladybird?
  • What shape would chairs be if our knees bent the other way?
  • What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  • What would happen if everyone was to flush their toilet at the same time?
  • What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?
  • What would happen to the level of the oceans if all the boats in the world were taken out of the water at the same time?
  • What's the opposite of opposite?
  • What's the problem with toast? Two slices pop up, you whip one out, and spread some margarine on it. But by the time you get the second, the consistency has changed. Why not have a time delay?
  • When does an arch become a tunnel?
  • Where do they get the seeds to grow seedless grapes?
  • Where does the white go when the snow melts?
  • Where would we be without rhetorical questions?
  • Which came first paper aeroplanes or real aeroplanes?
  • Who was the first person to see a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze those dangly things and drink what comes out"?
  • Why are singles played on the radio nearly always about couples (or the making of a couple)?
  • Why are there no R's in the Summer months?
  • Why are boxing rings rectangular?
  • Why can't cargo be shipped, when a shipment can be transported by car?
  • Why can't you get cat food with mice flavor?
  • Why can't women put their mascara on with their mouths closed?
  • Why do most people say they slept like a baby, when most babies wakes up every third hour?
  • Why do pizzas come in square boxes?
  • Why do we call a package sent by road a shipment but we call a package sent by boat cargo?
  • Why do we call the third hand on a watch the second hand?
  • Why do you call it a pair of trousers when there's only one?
  • Why do you never see any baby pigeons?
  • Why does an alarm clock 'go off' when it begins ringing?
  • Why does shampoo have different colors, when the foam is always white?
  • Why does the sun brighten our hair but darken our skin?
  • Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
  • Why does the word inflameable mean exactly the same as flameable?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • Why doesn't superglue stick to the tube?
  • Why is a broken heart rarely fatal?
  • Why is ice clear and snow white?
  • Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
  • Why is it called your bottom when it's really in the middle of your body?
  • Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
  • Why is it that short people do so well in television?
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavourings and washing up liquid made with real lemons?
  • Why is the fear of long words called hippopotomonstrosisquippidaliophobia?
  • Why is the word "dyslexia" so hard to spell?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge, but not in the freezer?
  • Why isn't a subway train that is moving above ground called a aboveway train?
  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  • Would the ocean be any deeper if it didn't contain any sponges?